12 Dec

The heart of Larry Fitzgerald (

 The more I think about starting to date again and talk about it with friends I’m faced with the question “So, what’s your type?” My response? A series of “ummms” and “wells” followed by pointing out some random guy in the room who fits what I think may be my “type”. I am not one of those girls who has a type per se.  I hate to put myself or men in a box. I have learned enough in my dating life to know that this can be a recipe for disappointment. BUT,  if I could create a fine male specimen to my very own liking, he’d have the personality of  Will Smith (yeah, that’s so cliche’); the heart of Larry Fitzgerald; the physical perfection and handsomeness of Terrell Owens; the passion and talent of Jason Reynolds; charm of Landry Clarke (yes, he’s the character from Friday Night Lights & quit judging me); the stature of President Obama; the work ethic of Keith Fitzhugh or the men who pick up my trash every Saturday morning rain, sleet or snow; and, the loyalty of Kenny Chadway (yet another fictional character from my life with Netflix #dontjudge).  I mean, truth is I am most attracted to athletic, rough but handsome, dark, cornbread-fed, sports loving, hard-working men with muscular chests, and genuine, simplistic senses of style.

The passion and talent of Jason Reynolds (Photo:Shyree Mezick)

But at the same time I don’t expect ever guy I date to be 6’2” with  220 pounds of lean body mass. I am attracted to different things in different men and believe that “swag”, sense of humor, and passion are MOST attractive. Even the most out of shape man can be desirable to me. That being said, I don’t know if I need to have a “type” identified for myself. But, I’m thinking maybe it would help me in my future dating endeavors if I at least know what I am looking for. So I’ll settle with this, if a man has all his teeth, is physically fit, and makes me laugh, I’m winning! If he finds pride in saggin his pants, doesn’t value exercise, or likes to rock cornrows, I’m losing!  Not too critical or selective, right? 

The stature of President Obama

Now, in terms of profession and money I don’t know what should be typical for me either or if it should even be considered in such a way. I refuse to be one of those women who demands that a man have an advanced degree, Ivy League education, six-figure income, and lots of power even if I have or desire to have these things for myself. I am not averse to men who possess such indicators of success but these things just aren’t that critical for me. I guess we should have a balance among each other’s career, a mutual respect and regard for each other’s work, income that meets our own individual needs and compliments each other’s lifestyle (if we’re talking long term relationship). I won’t pretend that money and career trajectory won’t be considerable factors but I won’t be driven by them in my quest for love and ultimately matrimony. Perhaps my only requirement should be that he be passionate and ambitious about whatever his craft is.

 Am I being too forgiving, naive, or setting the bar too low by being so open? Only time will tell. While I don’t have these  things figured out, I am looking forward to wherever this path of ambivalence may lead me in love. Keeping my options  open……and apparently inclusive of men with dreads.


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