Before I start writing let me say that it is not my intention to complain about being single or to express any sort of self-pity. I have thoroughly enjoyed my single life and am in no way trying to diminish it by saying what I am about to say but listen..
The more I think about being in a relationship again I do have to remind myself of all the things that were great about them. Most times I am reminded when talking to some of my close friends who are married or my sister who is engaged and I become jealous at times. Not the devious, Bible reference type of jealousy but , jealousy in a relationally-observant, self-reflective, inspirational kind of way. When I see other people reaping the benefit of something great, it inspires me and reminds me of the possibility. I am going to delve right into the dynamics of marriage while bypassing the significance of simple, unofficial, committed relationships (boyfriend-girlfriend, fiancés) but, I do so only because I hope that the ultimate outcome of my impending love life will be marriage. I can think of a ton of reasons I miss having a boyfriend but the idea of marriage is superior in my opinion. I’ve had boyfriends and know that that relationship status is attainable but the idea of marriage is somewhat beyond me and sometimes I get jealous of my married girlfriends. I’m not at all jealous because “those bitches have husbands and I’m still single” but, because…well, there are several reasons.
One being the idea of A Two Income Household- Heavy sigh…..These bitches increase (some more than double depending on how they marry) their annual salary just by being married. If they wanted to they could live off of one salary per year and save the rest for exotic vacations, designer handbags, a down payment on a house, designer coats, student loan debt, designer shoes, a business venture, or designer jewelry. This is one of the main reasons I am ready to say single life is for the effin’ birds. I need that 2 household income in my life! God was onto something when he created marriage. I get it!
They’ve Already Found The One. They no longer have to worry about when they’ll find the one and when they will start their own family. My romantic future is kinda like I’ve showed up for my dinner restaurant reservation but I can’t be seated until the entire party arrives. Guess I’ll enjoy the happy hour specials at the bar until the rest of my party shows up. No sense in wasting great opportunities but it sure would be nice to know if I anyone will actually be joining me, if I should have an appetizer for one, ask the hostess to decrease the party size or give up the table altogether. Ugh! I still have to consider marriage and child-bearing in the big grand scheme of my life and I’m not totally in control. It’s like a big question mark in my mind that I would like replaced with some answers soon…well I guess I can hold out 5 more years but what will that look like? Doesn’t that mean I should be dating now? Will I actually find the one? Too many effin critical questions going unanswered. It’s just not right!
They Inherit A New Family. If you read my post “Where Are You?” from last week you understand why this is appealing to me. My family gets on my last nerve sometimes and it would be nice to have an alternative. I am ready to start my own family and spare some of the awkward trips home and family drama. Being able to have a variety of close family and friends during the holidays and being able to set the pace of my own family is something I look forward to immensely. My married friends have more family options during the holidays and special occasions and when all else disappoints they have their husbands to lean on at the end of the day.
Shared Decision Making-You know how much nausea, how many hours and phone a friend calls, it took me at Home Depot just to pick the paint color for my living room? Excess! Sometimes I wish I didn’t have full decision-making power over my life. It’s just overwhelming at times. It would be nice to have someone to help buy a flat screen; decide which credit card balances to transfer; how many years to sign a lease for; AT&T or Sprint; Jimbo’s at 125th & Lenox or 125th and Amsterdam; scarf or no scarf. Gimme me a break!
They Get Laid Like It’s Their Job! It’s always an option! It’s compulsory! The hours between 12 am and 7 am should not be spent in bed alone for obvious biological reasons. Plus Dr. Oz says that the best time to have sex is 7a.m. Apparently, I am not maintaining my health well by being single.
Valentine’s Day and Birthdays Are Always Celebrated. Whether your significant other is deployed or off on business there is a moral obligation to celebrate these occasions however simple or elaborate. No longer having to feel like you have to take yourself out on a date or plan your own birthday celebration is something I am definitely looking forward to. I have missed the novelty and romance of Valentine’s Day dearly even though it is a capitalistic ploy that propagates romance and love as most sacred and best celebrated on the 14th day of February. I want to be one of those fools again dangit!
They’ve Got a Permanent Traveling Buddy. They always know who they are going to take trips with. They never have to selectively choose from a range of girlfriends, arrange schedules, select destinations, consider each other’s finances, deal with flakiness, or essentially, they never have to consider traveling alone.
They Have a Live-in Best Friend. Uncharacteristic of even the best of my friendships, their husbands are obligated to listen to them and make them feel better. It’s not an option for them to dismiss their feelings or decide they don’t want to hear about their day unless dissolution of marriage is a goal they’re shooting for.
Last but not least, The Ring! Done.
So, yes! I realize that I am being somewhat quixotic but at the end of the day I am single. I know that experiencing these things would make my life different but enjoyable in some ways. Just my thoughts. What do you married ladies think? Do I have it all wrong? Single ladies, did I miss anything or do you disagree with what I’m saying?