Archive | March, 2011

Weighting it Out

27 Mar

You all are my friends, right?

Ok, good! I only ask because this post is going to be a little more personal and revealing than some of the others.

Spring is here and Summer is drawing closer and I always get anxious about the body image issues that come with showing more skin and fitting into my more breezy, sun-friendly outfits. The last couple years I have gotten a little better at managing my summer body expectations (do you have those?) as I have grown more excepting of my flaws. It also helps that I am fairly active and fit so a balanced diet and exercise always keep me in line as long as I am consistent. My weight and physique are a work in progress so I have learned to do my best and forget the rest….for the most part.  Except when it comes to dating and my relationship with the opposite sex. I will not allow myself to date again until I am satisfied with my weight. I am just gonna weight or wait it out until my body is where I want it to be before I date again. 

Now, don’t scold me just yet and tell me how immature, rigid, unhealthy, and self-defeating this is. I have already been warned of the danger of this  resolution by a very good therapist and a friend but honestly the only problem I have with waiting is that I don’t know exactly what satified with my weight looks like or when it will hapen. That’s the bigger issue in my opinion.

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I’m Thinking About Writing a Blog Post

15 Mar

So yeah, I have been either too busy to write in the last couple weeks or just to mentally unprepared to do so. Doesn’t mean I haven’t been thinking about some things.

I had a really great discussion with my friend Christina about commitment and my fear of it. She is married and of course had alot of insight to offer about me in the context of a relationship. I am coming to realize that getting myself completely together is probably the best thing I can do for myself in preparation for a true and meaningful relationship in the long run and even in the process of dating and selecting a mate.  It’s not just me being an insecure, stubborn, perfectionist. However, I am not sure what ready means and I feel that I need to know exactly what ready means for me. Of course there is never a perfect moment in time for anything but if I can come closest to where I wanna be before I start to get serious about even dating again, I really want to determine what that looks like! For starters I need to get over myself. My next post will be all about this in fact.

Other than that I came across this really profound quote about love yesterday. It’s from one of my favorite bloggers Cynthia from Addicted 2 Etsy. ”Love: It’s never completely easy but it shouldn’t be hard either.” Is that right?! This is a great guiding statement especially coming from a woman who is married. I’ve been thinking about what this means to me and how mysterious yet soothing this statement is.

I am still thinking about the idea of compromising my time and thinking of how I can be more carefree in that area. That will definitely be a challenge but I am up for it. So, there are lots of things on my mind and lots of tasks on my agenda so, for now I am just thinking. I will return shortly within the next week with a real post. Hope everyone is doing well.

Compromise My Time? I’ll Pass

3 Mar

The last couple weeks I feel that somehow and in some small way I have grown or taken a step in the right direction in terms of my motivation  to date. I know this because I actually gave my number to a couple of guys I’ve met. I’m not that interested in dating yet but thought why not? I should just see what they’re about and possibly make a new friend if nothing else. This rationale alone demonstrates growth for me because I usually don’t take risks with my time like that. Don’t get to excited because though I’ve grown a little, I have plateaued at the same time.

Over the last couple weeks these guys have called and/or texted me. We’ve exchanged pleasantries and made small talk, but I am just not interested in getting to know them any further. Perhaps it’s because I am just not feelin’ these particular dudes that much but I also haven’t really given them a chance either. At the same time, I don’t feel like giving them a chance! My time is so valuable to me and unless I’m absolutely positive you are going to contribute to it in a more positive and enriching way I cannot be bothered! I have to take care of my priorities: twisting my hair, marathon training, going to Trader Joe’s, organizing my Netflix que, figure out what my signature Spring sandals will be, reading my favorite blogs, listening to Pandora, browsing vintage finds on Etsy, searching for the perfect black clutch, making fashion collages from my latest issue of People Style, brainstorming my business ideas, organizing my thoughts, painting my nails. I can’t be taking time off from these things to get to know you and then you end up not being worth my time, then I’ll be pissed at myself and frustrated because that clutch I wanted is now sold out online! I’m good!

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