Archive | May, 2011

In Love With Beyonce

26 May

Beyonce “1+1”

Make love to me…when my days look low, pull me in close and don’t let me go.
Make love to me…so that when the worlds at war, that our love heal us all
Help me let down my guard, make love to me

Beyonce and her musical talent inspire and motivate me like no other. For the past 3 weeks I haven’ t had the mental clarity to even finish an entire post, but add a new Beyonce ballad to the mix and suddenly I am renewed and invigorated with inspiration.  If I were to go into the nuances of why I adore Beyonce so adamantly you’d probably never read my blog again for fear that my delusions are influential or that I am a part of the illuminati, so I won’t go into the details of my special relationship with her. What I will do is attempt so accentuate the way in which her passion, her voice, and presence inspire me to realize the truth about love. Of course I fantasize and romanticize what her marriage to Jay must be like, but that’s not what really inspires me to love. It’s the way she is. I can see that she is love. She lives love. She has love. It has always been apparent to me as evidenced by her grace and humility as a performer that she is ultimately confident and self-possessing, but it’s when she sings songs like this and LIKE this:  

….that make me realize the presence of love in one’s life, -true committed love- must be worth the risks assumed.  

For the chance to be able to love like the words felt at the sound and energy of her phenomenal voice…. I honestly can’t imagine. To be able to feel the love I feel her exuding and expressing in this song in essence of not so much what she is saying, but what she feels is inspiring. I can tell the words are meaningful to her and the emotion is undeniably raw.  The song 1+1 is somehow bare yet so dense and vivid in its portrayal of love. The power of her expression makes  me wonder just how much more intense it would be to actually feel that depth of love for myself. When I listen to her sing this, I feel like I get closer to the love, compassion, and romance I desire for my life. Afterall, isn’t that what music is? Love. *Beyonce personifies love for me.  I am not only in love with her, but in love with her. It’s impossible not to be. I am truly inspired!

*except she’s not a man and you can understand the obvious discrepancy with that, but yeah!

 

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Coming to Conclusions

1 May

Since my last post, I have had a lot of time to think about where I am at with my readiness to be romantically involved again and in doing so I have come to many conclusions. Afterall, I haven’t posted in 3 weeks so let’s hope that I have  used my time engaging in at least a thinking process. It’s surely not the first time, but I have come to the conclusion that it’s not going to be enough for me to simply submit to my readiness and admit to the toils of being emotional unavailable. I know I want to be ready but I am not really taking seriously the idea of changing my state of mind or my status as single. I like being single, but I also know that at some point it will get old and if I don’t start to work toward companionship now, I will be old. And lonely. And unfulfilled perhaps. I don’t know exactly what the best case scenario is for being single all one’s life. I imagine it has advantages but I am not interested in running this sort of social experiment with my own life.  Continue reading

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